'I don't want to seem tight': How much should you give to the year-end teacher collection?

Parents know the drill: as the end of summer term rolls in it's time to think about thank-yous for the teachers after another year of hard work and tested patience.

But just how generous should you be? Is £5 too much? Or too little? And what about support staff like teaching assistants, canteen staff and librarians?

With many parents strapped for cash and heading into the holidays, it's an extra expense to budget for and an awkward etiquette to negotiate.

Plus, what used to be a simple matter of buying chocolate and writing a card has been overtaken by an organisational extravaganza, with class reps sending out a flurry of Whatsapps to drum up contributions, before passing round the collective card, and deciding on flowers, spa days, wine or vouchers.

This can all really add up, as one parent told the BBC.

At her South East London primary school, collections have reached as much as £560, which is split between the teacher and teaching assistants. For a class of 30, that works out at more than £18 per child.

On top of this, she says there are usually bake sales and ice cream sales in June and July to raise money for the school, as well as collections for support staff who are leaving or members of the PTA.

The mother-of-two, who didn't want to share her name, said she and her partner "were not in an uncomfortable position" but still "feel the strain".

"Sometimes you are asked to put money into someone's bank account and there's a lot of pressure there. You can't just put a few quid in or you'll seem tight."

Teacher whip-rounds are a hot topic on the online forum Mumsnet, where they tend to divide opinion.

In a recent thread, one parent spoke of the "insane" amount they were asked to give, while another said they felt pressured to contribute, especially if there was a class "Queen Bee" organising the collection.

But others responding online said it was reasonable to give a sizeable amount, with one arguing that teachers were "woefully underpaid and undervalued".

Even if you are contributing £10 each for three members of staff, that costs the same as taking the family out for coffee and pastries, they pointed out.

Maya, who also did not want to use her real name due to "the politics of it all", has taken on the role of organising the whip-round for the past few years at her children's London school.

The mother-of-two says a class collection is more affordable than giving individual presents. So she and the other parents agreed on a contribution of £5 per member of staff, making a total of £15 from each child for their teacher and two teaching assistants.

She does note that in a year when the teacher "hasn't been the best" payouts have been lower, but usually most parents do contribute.

"A couple of mums always say, 'we like to do our own thing'," she says. She is aware there may be good reasons parents or carers can't take part; some of the pupils are in care.

"I think it would be terrible to call someone out and be like: why haven't you contributed?" she says.

For families that can't afford extravagant presents a collection can make things easier, says psychologist Cathrine Jansson-Boyd at Anglia Ruskin University.

But in fact, all children benefit from a shift away from the "showing-off culture" at the school gate at the end of term, which can make them anxious, she says.

"It avoids some kids perhaps going: 'Mummy, or Daddy, why didn't we give the teacher 10 bottles of champagne?'," says Jansson-Boyd.

She thinks a £5 contribution from each child adds up to an "incredibly generous" gift for staff.

Behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings thinks contributions should be specified in advance, leaving less room for doubt and social pressure - because, after all, you can never be sure your donation will not end up being talked about.

"I think everyone should give an equal amount. Probably about £10 per parent, I think the maximum is probably £20," she says. She suggests £5 for teaching assistants.

"I don't know if that makes me sound very mean or very generous, but I feel that's kind of an affordable level," she says.

She also thinks the card should be from the class as a whole, regardless of who donated.

"Whether a parent has contributed or not is not relevant - the teacher doesn't need to know that."

Tim, a teacher at a private school in Cheltenham, says what means the most to him is when students have written a card or a note themselves.

"I'm a physics teacher and I've got a terrible sense of humour," he confesses, so he particularly likes it if the students pick up on his fondness for corny puns.

Tim, like plenty of teachers, says he doesn't want parents to feel any obligation to give a gift.

Most schools have rules over the value of gifts teacher can accept, limited to £30 or £50 typically, and discourage cash gifts altogether.

"I think it wouldn't be a bad idea for schools to point that out and say, look, if you're going to buy something, make sure you keep below X amount," says Tim.